As I sit here I am bawling like a baby over a stinking Taylor Swift song. Amy, I know you it well so hopefully you can relate but good grief I don't know why its hitting me so hard today...
The song is called "the best day" and it is about the relationship between a girl and her mom. It's about how when she was 5 years old and going to the pumpkin patch and falling asleep on the way home. It is about the innocence of being a child. The next verse is about the trials of a teenage girl. How her friends were mean to her and her mom is the one that is there for her and takes her to do something so fun that she forgets about all the drama at school.
This song reminds me so much of my relationship with my mom. I think I have the best mom in the world. She's always been there for me though every single thing and she has ALWAYS been on my side even when I was way wrong. Growing up it was me and my mom. That's it. Yes I had other family but on a day to day basis it was me and it was her and as I grew up it was often just her as I was out and about doing my own thing.
Anyway, that's not really the reason I'm crying. The end says "I grew up in a pretty house and I had space to run and hide....I had the best days with you....There is a video I found from back when i was three...you set up a paint set in the kitchen and you're talking to me....its the age of princess and pirate ships and the 7 dwarfs...and daddy's smart and you're the prettiest lady in the whole wide world"
The truth is my little girl is growing up faster than I can hardly bear and I sit here thinking about how I will NEVER get these days back. We go through the day to day motions, most of the time so rushed we can't even sit and enjoy life. We're running her and there and everywhere. I'm missing out on so much b/c I am here at work everyday but then again my mom gets to re-live all those things with Avery. I was her little girl once too and I'm so thankful that she is the one enjoying her when I can't. I'm just sitting here thinking about how when Avery reads her princess books she always points to the prettiest princess and says "Mama!" I am so far from perfect. I do not deserve to have such a wonderful little blessing to love on everyday. But she loves me just for the way I am and I can only hope that one day she will be able to say that she had the best day with me, today...
My hope is that I will be able to be the best mom I can ever be for her and that someday she will realize even when I was "mean" it wall in her best interest to help her be polite and learn.
That day....
12 years ago